


Plato could fill books

by moon2pluto



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Idiots in Love, Love at First Sight, Nothing Hurts, Soft Ben Solo, Songfic, also bless Finn I love him, because we don't respect him in this house, everyone is happy, it's destiny friends, palpatine is a cat now, the author hates writing in English
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-27
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:27:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23336875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moon2pluto/pseuds/moon2pluto
Summary: It is a lovely autumn evening when philosophy student Ben sets foot into the coffee shop, just hoping to get something that will make him survive his coursework - and falls in love with Rey instead.- Very closely connected and based on the song "Autumn Eyes" by Desmond Lewis -
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 6
Kudos: 49





	1. All my still unwritten thoughts

**Author's Note:**

> Hello hello hello!
> 
> So, this is actually a straight-up Songfic, since the story is centred around the wonderful song "Autumn Eyes" by Desmond Lewis, which is so unknown, but, funnily enough, also one of my favourite love songs, and I thought that it would perfectly describe Ben's and Rey's relationship as well, so I asked for the official permission to use the lyrics in my story, and here we are :)
> 
> Have a listen to it if you want to (it would definitely enhance your experience), it's a great song to put on loop as well:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bE3ZwbRHk_k
> 
> Also, English is not my native language and Grammarly is my only Beta, so I am sorry if you should encounter any mistakes, I tried!
> 
> Other than that, enjoy this tale-as-old-as-time, idiots-in-love coffeeshop AU ;)

Red and yellow and brown mixed together, a storm of colours painted with the smell of rain. The thought of home, a too deep puddle and laughter tumbling through the air like too pale ghosts. Birds chirping, a scarecrow amid a maze field, wind brushing along too fast. The sound of thunder overhead, the promise of safety and warmth inside your bed.

Autumn.

All of this is what autumn has always been to Ben. Well, until he met her, at least.

Then, it became so much more.

But first, you need to know: He didn’t notice her right away from the start.

I know that this sounds ridiculous but bear with me. He really didn’t. It wasn’t always exactly his fault though, so take it easy on him.

One time, for example, he was in a bad rush, he just realised he was late for his class and didn’t pay enough attention whilst paying for his coffee to see her. Really see her.

Another time, his friend told him a joke that made him turn his head just at the right time to miss her.

Also, it wasn’t always the case that she’d be working around the time that he would come by, which happened to be rather randomly, and sometimes she was already busy with another customer, her co-worker taking on Ben’s order.

The two of them seemed to miss each other every time until this one evening, heavy with fate and sunshine and later, even rain.

So I guess you could still call it ‘Love at first sight.’

Which are, funnily enough, exactly the words with whom their story started. 

But see this one for yourself.

As he entered, Ben was greeted by the familiar warm smell of coffee and late nights. A look at his clock ensured him that it wasn’t too late actually, barely five o’clock, the early autumn sun just starting to vanish at the horizon.

Well, not too late to drink coffee if he wanted to sleep tonight. If he would even be able to fall asleep anyways. Ben was majoring in Philosophy after all and those essays sure would not write themselves.

Phoning his parents was also on the to-do list, but he liked to forget about that. It had been on this list for a while now, but even after all of those months at college, which had given him the necessary time to be mad, heal and, to a large part, forgive, it was still hard to look back.

But still, it was on the list. Not to be fulfilled soon, but never taken down either.

Brushing a hand through his hair, he finally stepped up to the counter, already practising his order in his head. At the moment, the barista’s back was still turned towards him, as she was just laughing at something her co-worker must have said and didn't notice him straight away. Ben didn’t mind though, he wasn’t in a rush and he had always liked the atmosphere of the café, so he took a look around, trained his eyes on the orange sunbeams painted on the walls.

Still, he remembers thinking what a nice laugh she had, full and real.

A rocky tune faded from the radio, a newer, softer one took over.

The combination made him smile, even before she turned.

But when she turned, he was breathless.

_“Love at first sight, do you think it might be true?”_

And oh, the irony of this song, because for a few short, eternal moments, he forgot what even the concept of words was.

Redded cheeks, honest smile, that one where even the eyes get a bit smaller, faded freckles. Brown hair pulled back into three buns, a black apron with a bit of flour on it. Rey. At least, that's what her nametag seemed to say, already seemingly withered by time and use.

Hazel eyes, tracking him up and down for a few seconds before she began to speak.

She was beautiful, absolutely stunning.

“Hello, could I get your order?”

“ _That my darkest moments, they might all have led me straight to you”_

Ben needed an awfully long moment to collect himself and to realise that the woman standing before him was, in fact, talking to him right now. Even the pure fact of his existence alone came seemingly like a surprise to him. But as he did, as he finally realised that he had stared at a stranger for such an amount of time that he must have qualified for a restraining order, his eyes darted away, flushing deeply.

What was he here for again, except for humiliation? Right, coffee.

“Sorry, I’ll take the- uh, the large Cappuccino please,” he mumbled, and realised only afterwards that he did, in fact, not drink Cappuccino. He only liked his coffee black.

Ben tried to take a deep breath to steady himself and not be an idiot anymore but was caught off guard again by the open smile Rey gave him as she tapped his order into the machine.

_“I don’t dare to stare into your eyes, cause I might sink in the blue”_

This wasn’t right though. Her eyes weren’t blue, they were a deep brown, trapping skies and universes inside them. He looked up at her again shortly and god, did he need to pull himself together. Was he seriously falling for a stranger he had spoken one sentence with?

“Are you staying here or would you like your order to go, Sir?” She seemed to kind of stumble on the last part, but her smile was still open as she looked at him again, competing with the sun for brightness.

“Uh, to go, please”, he said, suddenly eager to get outside and breathe again.

Rey grabbed a cup and nodded. “On what name, if I may ask?”

Huh. That was weird. He couldn’t remember ever being asked for his name at this coffee shop, but then again, he didn’t go here too often. Wait, did her ears just turn pink?

_“I don’t know if you mean it that way”_

He scolded himself almost momentarily. Wishful thinking, more like.

“Ben”, he nevertheless still said and even found the courage to muster up a small smile, this time determined to hold eye contact. He didn’t mind the pretty barista to know his name anyway.

_“But if so you should know that I have wounds inside my mind”_

“Ben Solo”

He really didn’t know why his idiot self had added that, but Rey’s smile grew wider as she fixed her eyes on him, the cup in her hand neglected for the moment, and that was worth it.

“I’m Rey”, she offered instead and stretched her hand out to him before she sighed. “Which you know, of course, because I’m wearing a name tag.”

_“And I’m going through a hard time in my life”_

Ben had to laugh as he shook her hand and wondered at their touch after he could swear he almost felt a static exchange. Her warm skin against his, still cold from the outside, her hand looking so small in his gigantic one – the sensation left him with a fluttering feeling in his stomach, a feeling which he definitely shouldn’t try to analyse right here and now.

_“And I don’t know”_

The whistle of her co-worker seemed to break the spell they had been under because Rey let go of Ben’s hand immediately, cleared her throat and turned her attention to making his coffee again.

_“If I still can love”_

And honestly, Ben knew at this moment that he was a goner. It still took him some moments to be brave enough to start a conversation up again, trying hard to banish all of his shadows into the back of his mind.

_“I’m just trying my best to hold back all my still unwritten thoughts”_

But, hey, the store was nearly empty, the sun still shone orange and behind him was no line, so why not at least try?

A shaky breath after another, then words.

“Do you go to college here as well?”

She smiled up at him, he was mesmerized. “Yes, I do actually, I’m majoring in Engineering when I’m not working here. What do you do?”

_“I don’t know”_

“Philosophy”, he answered fast, maybe just a bit too fast, which made Ben suppress the urge to bite his tongue immediately.

“Wow, that sounds fascinating!”, she answered him and he marvelled at the honesty in her voice. “But also really complicated. I mean, I only took one year in Highschool and I didn’t understand a single thing, so...”

“And engineering is any better?”, Ben laughed “To this day, I can’t even use a hammer without hurting myself.”

_“If I still can feel”_

Her eyes darkened for a moment, but it was gone as quickly as it came. “Well, as a kid I was… I was always fascinated by building stuff and fixing up cars, so I guess I just formed my abilities early on.”

“My dad literally co-owns an engineering firm.”

Rey shrugged, but couldn’t shake off her laughter completely. “Well, that’s just sad then.”

With disappointment, Ben noticed that his coffee was done already as she slit it over the counter for him, his name in capital letters at the side in her, surprisingly messy, handwriting.

Suddenly, he deeply regretted taking his coffee to go.

“Well, goodbye then”, he said slowly, not quite ready to let go yet, even after he paid. Ben looked up into her eyes, lighting up the whole room, and she flashed him another smile, lighting up the whole world around them.

“Goodbye.”

_“For though I can’t forget your autumn eyes, they still don’t seem too real”_

With another nod to stabilize himself, he then turned, fully knowing that he sadly couldn’t just stay there and admire her forever. With long steps, he walked towards the door but turned around one more time, somehow not able to leave before he would have at least tried.

“You know, I do have to stay up really late tonight because of this one Philosophy paper and I probably won’t make it without another dose of caffeine, so, until when are you guys opened again?”

At first, Rey had seemed surprised to see Ben speak, but her smile got wider and wider as he continued.

“Well, you’re in luck, we’re open until midnight, actually”, she said and Ben felt the warmth in his stomach return in full force.

“See you then”, Ben laughed.

“Yeah, see you then”, Rey answered and waved at him before he stepped out through the glass door back into the cold autumnal sunshine.

It took him a good few metres to process everything that had just happened, the coffee in his hand entirely forgotten, and no matter what he did, this stupid grin just wouldn’t go off of his face. Not that he minded though. No, he didn’t mind it at all.

“God, Solo”, Ben muttered to himself after a while, “You’re really in over your head for this one.”


	2. All the thunder from above

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!  
> As promised, in this chapter we will be shifting the POV to Rey's to see how the song connects to her experience. Needless to say, fluff (and some light angst) ensues :)
> 
> If you want to experience the full atmosphere and the song this fic was written for, you can listen to it if you copy and paste this link (I actually have no idea how to do working links here I am so sorry):  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bE3ZwbRHk_k

Whereas Ben had many positive connections to autumn, Rey had made quite different experiences. To Rey, autumn meant coldness, despair and standing in the rain at night, not knowing where to go, barely even having the money to buy food. This weather always remembered her of those times and how powerless she was back then, and even though since then her life did improve greatly, her feelings never have.

Sure, now she had friends, she even found a home with her amazing adoptive mother, a kind-hearted woman named Maz, when she was fourteen, but something in the autumn rain always made her shiver. Something inside of it always whispered in her ear that she didn’t belong, that she didn’t matter.

And this night, oh, this night was no different, somehow even worse. No, not somehow. Ben Solo had made it worse.

"Way worse than he should be able to", she had to remind herself again and again. "After all, he is a total stranger. Just a total stranger."

However, as soon as Rey spoke those words, she knew that they simply weren't true. Factually, yes, he was a stranger, but emotionally? She couldn't directly explain it, but as soon as she laid her eyes on him, she had felt like there maybe was something more. Something encapturing her. A strong pull in her stomach nearly shoving her in his direction, almost as if this was fate.

Rey had to chuckle and shake her head at this thought. No, she never believed in fate and definitely wouldn't start now. But she also couldn't argue that he had caught her eye and that she felt connected to him within the first two seconds, even though she couldn't put it into words.

So she also couldn't explain why she had felt such a peng to her chest when he didn't reappear this evening like he said he would.

Absentmindedly, she glanced at the clock again. Half-past Eleven. There was no way he would still come. And honestly, she shouldn't mind, shouldn't even care - Except, she did. The truth is, she had hoped he would.

"Do you think we can slowly shut down now? It's a Tuesday, and the only ones left here are you, me and this old guy who's probably fallen asleep back there. I don't think he has paid yet, though...", the voice of Finn, her friend and coworker, ripped her out of her thoughts.

She turned and smiled at him, but it didn't reach her eyes. "Yeah, we probably can. We should, I mean. It's not like someone is going to get coffee this late anymore."

Finn had always been good at reading her thoughts, it was one of the reasons he had become so good friends with the rather closed off Rey, and this time was no different. "Except for Ben Solo, you mean?"

Her eyes widened. "No... How do you even..."

"He literally shouted across the whole cafe that he would be back later, it was not as if you two had a private conversation. Also, I know him."

"You what?"

Finn just shrugged and smiled. "It's a small campus, we're in the same Metaphysics course. He was probably just too busy with you to notice me earlier." He added a small wink to his speech that made Rey's cheeks turn red, too red for her comfort.

"Also, let's not change the subject", he continued, "because between the two of you there were obviously some sparks flying, so naturally, I want to hear everything."

Rey sighed and looked at the shop around them, but there was really nothing that could save her from this conversation. It was empty after all, the sun outside had long set and the cold had persuaded everyone sane into their homes. Only the old man was still sitting on one of the tables as he had been for one hour now, but as Rey heard a slight snore coming from his direction, she knew that he wouldn't be any help either.

"Alright. Finn, do you ever feel... I don't know, drawn to someone?"

He raised his eyebrows. "Drawn?"

"Like whatever you do, you can't escape their gaze. Like... like you just know that they belong with you, even if you don't know them at all, and you would give anything to find out more about them, spend more time with them."

"You mean like falling in love?" Finn's smile slowly transformed into a smug grin, and Rey didn't like that one bit.

"Falling in love?", she murmured slowly. She had never been in love, Finn knew that and it was no secret. She had no idea what it felt like.

"Yes, falling in love. Seemingly at first sight in your case. It's more common than you think", Finn laughed, probably amazed by the idea of Rey falling in love with one glance, which she couldn't really resent him for. Hell, she felt the same way.

"Could that be it?" It would make so much sense, now that she thought about it, and it made her cheeks glow with heat.

"You know, when Poe and I first met, I felt the same way", he shared after a while.

"Really?" The two of them had met and got together before she had known them, so she wasn't there when all of this happened, but it made her wondrous to think about it know.

Finn chuckled. "Yeah. It happens quite frequently, you know, humans are almost always bound to experience that, even if you can't believe it", he joked and she smacked him lightly. "No, when we met, it felt like magic. It was as you described, you simply know that you want to get closer to this person, that you might even want to fill your life with them - and you also have the undescribably urge to pull all of their clothes off." Now Rey smacked him harder with the towel in her hand and he raised his hands in defence, still laughing.

The worst part was, she couldn't even fully deny it.

"So do you really think I might have fallen in love with a stranger?"

His eyes settled on something behind her, and just as she thought the old man napping away might have finally woken up, he grinned at her and motioned her to turn around.

"I think that we are bound to find out."

Because there he was, and Rey had to suck in a breath, her cheeks already glowing again. Ben Solo. He stood behind the door with a wide grin on his face, waving at her, and then he already opened the door.

"I'll be going home now, I don't think I'm needed here any longer. Remember to lock up when the two of you are done - and wake up that old guy on second thought."

"Finn, no", she whispered angrily, but with the grin already on his face, she knew that she couldn't stop him anymore.

"Oh, and don't forget to pull down the shutters if things get too heated in here..."

"Jesus, get out already", she sighed, giving her best to get rid of the thoughts created by that image.

And then, suddenly, she couldn't focus on anything anymore, every thought silent in her head, because there he was, standing in front of her. She couldn't help but smile at him, which he reciprocated in a matter of seconds.

"Sorry that I'm late, I was planning to be here earlier", were the first breathless words coming from his mouth after a few seconds, and also the first time that Rey was brought back to reality in even the slightest sense.

A quick glance at the clock confirmed what he had said - he was late. Very late. They were bound to close in twenty minutes.

"It's alright", she laughed. "Did something happen to keep you away from... your cup of coffee?", she saved herself, and even though she knew that this question might be too close, too personal, she couldn't help herself. Rey wanted to know. She wanted to know everything that would help her unravel his spirit, make sense of why she felt this way about him. Honestly, she didn't know if she had ever been as curious about something as she was about one Ben Solo.

He nodded and laughed again, clearly taken aback. "Yeah. Yeah, you see, my roommate's cat kind of ran away and we had to search for him, that little shit, and he didn’t exactly take it easy on us.”

“Seriously?” Rey couldn’t help but laugh herself. “Where did you find it?”

“Oh, you wouldn’t believe it if I told you, but this idiot of a cat somehow got himself into the pet store three blocks away. He was trying to tear open a bag of treats just as we found him." He ruffled through his hair as he spoke and Rey couldn't help but drink in all the details about him.

His hair was black and long, so long that it looked a bit like it needed a haircut, and Rey suddenly felt the urge to run her fingers through it herself. Dark brown eyes that portrayed all of his emotions, almost as if she was looking through glass. Swirling pools of timber and safeness she could get lost in.

And his lips...

Rey could catch herself just the right time before her gaze could drop there and make it even more embarrassing for her. Only then did she notice that his eyes raked over her as well, and she cleared her throat desperately.

"That sounds like a real maniac of a cat. What's his name?"

Ben sighed. "Palpatine. I know, don't laugh, my roommate chose that name for him, I don't know why, I had no part in it."

"That sounds kind of cute though", she countered and grinned as Ben gave her the most exasperated look she had ever seen somebody wear.

"Believe me, he's not, he's a menace and a manipulator beyond bounds, and whatever stunts he pulls, he always gets through with it!" Despite himself, Ben laughed fondly, and the tug in Rey's stomach got ever so much stronger.

Before she knew it, she imagined what waking up next to that smile of his might feel like, and it made her heart flutter as if it would fly away soon. And if those thoughts were maybe a bit too far reached for someone she knew about five collective minutes, she could guarantee that she, at least, wanted to see this grin as often as she could - screw that, Rey wanted to be the cause of it.

"So you still have one hell of a philosophy paper to write?" She asked him, leaning over the counter to catch his words better, which prompted him to draw a few steps closer as well.

"And what topic will your night so heavily depend on?"

"Plato." There was wonder in his eyes as he spoke. Not that breathtaking grin from earlier, but a deep astonishment that left Rey all the more entranced. "The cave allegory, one of my favourites."

Rey might not now much about Philosophy, but to her, Ben Solo could be one all on his own.

It reminded her so much of this song that had been playing more and more often in the radio during the last days, that one which had also sounded through the cafe when Ben had first set foot in here. What did it go like again?

Right.

_"Plato could fill books with what I plan to say to you"_

"Cave allegory?", she asked, not wanting him to stop talking. "That sounds... nice. And definitely like you need a good cup of coffee", she snickered. "Cappuccino, right?"

The pained expression on his face flashed by in such short time that she didn't put any mind to it.

"Sure."

_"For you can’t imagine all the sleepless nights you put me through"_

With that, Rey got to work. She was glad that her hands finally had something to do, something to focus on so that her eyes could stop betraying her by staring at Ben's face again and again. And while she grabbed a cup and prepared his order, she even managed to get a quick breath to try and collect herself.

The two sides inside of herself were still fighting. On one hand, she still couldn't wrap her mind around why Ben caught her attention so much, why she saw stars when she looked into his eyes. He was a stranger, essentially, and even if she felt like she knew him, could she really trust him?

But in the end, the tug in her stomach won, her mouth spoke before her brain could stop it.

"So tell me more about this cave allegory of yours", she said as she looked up at him again whilst the coffee machine worked.

_"I fear that you might get me if with time you only knew"_

"Why do you like it so much?"

Ben grinned again, and her brain's whispers seemed to grow a bit quieter each time he did that.

_"That before I get to know you I’m afraid to lose you too"_

"Alright, do you want to hear it?"

"Sure."

"Close your eyes."

Rey's heart beat a bit faster as she followed his command, only the sound of the coffee machine in the background slowly grinding coffee beans to fill the silence.

_"For I’ve got holes inside my heart"_

"Now, with your eyes closed, imagine that you are kneeling in a dark cave, tied up on your wrists and ankles..."

"What the actual hell, Ben."

Ben blurted out laughing, seemingly oblivious to the strangeness of his request before, and even if this situation should probably worry Rey, she erupted into laughter as well, with her eyes still closed.

_"And if you were there it still might fall apart"_

"I'm really concerned about what you learn in those philosophy classes now", she joked instead and he snickered.

"I know it sounds really weird, but I'm getting at something, trust me."

And for some even weirder reason, she did.

"Okay, so I'm chained up in a cave. What next?"

_"Cause I don't know"_

"Alright. You're in the cave, and you have been there in that position since birth."

"It's really not getting any better, is it?" She opened one eye to peek at him and saw him smile, still with both of his own eyes closed, a concentrated look on his face.

_"If I still can love"_

"Hush now, it's Plato we're talking about", he said, trying to sound offended, but his smile failed him still.

Rey did as he said anyways, obediently closing both of her eyes again and welcoming the chance to concentrate on his voice.

_"I'm just trying my best to hold back all the thunder from above"_

"It's really dark in this cave and you are facing a blank wall. You can't turn your head around. However, behind you, there is a source of light behind you, which you think to be the sun. Now, during your lifetime, people, objects and animals move past it and create shadows on the wall. You find names for those appearances and sort them appropriately, like "dog" or "human being" for example and believe them to be the real thing."

"But then, one day, you can get out of your chains. You turn around and realise that this source of light you called sun all this time is actually just a campfire in the cave and that those shadows weren't the real thing, but just shadows."

Ben grew more and more animated as he spoke. It made Rey's heart swell.

"Furthermore, you find the cave's entrance and manage to go outside, and then, finally, you see it."

"What?" Rey sounded nearly as breathless as Ben now, leaning further onto the countertop.

"The sun", Ben whispered and Rey opened her eyes only to find his already open and looking into hers, closer than she remembered him, a serious expression in his face.

It was at this moment, of course, that the coffee machine decided to be done and emitted a loud peeping noise, making Rey blink, Ben clear his throat, and both of them return to reality again.

"And what do I do with it?", she asked finally, not able to bear the silence for much longer than a few seconds.

"Hm?"

"Once I saw the sun, what do I do?"

He smiled again, but it didn't reach his eyes. "Oh, well, in the allegory, the freed person goes back to tell the other prisoners of their knowledge and free them as well, but because the others think them to be crazy, they resist his efforts." Ben shrugged. "Translated, it can be seen as a philosophers journey, but it's pretty flexible, it can be applied to a lot of things. That's why it's one of my favourites."

She finished off filling the coffee into the cup and pressed the lid on top of it. “I can imagine. It sounds… profound, somehow, reassuring. I wish I had taken my class in Highschool more seriously now.”

As both knew that the time they could reasonably spend chit-chatting with each other drew to an end, words became a heavy matter. Heavy on the tongue, hard to get out, and still never quite enough.

“It’s basically the plot of ‘Matrix’”, Ben commented in this way and both of them laughed before he finally started to fiddle with his purse, trying to get the right amount of money out of it.

And just as he wasn’t looking at her, as his eyes didn’t cloud her ability to think for a second, an idea came to her. It was risky, sure, but she knew that she had to do it. If she was just going to let Ben out of here and maybe lost her chance, Rey was going to regret it. Forever maybe. After all, who knew if he was going to come back?

Some people didn’t.

She bit her lip at that memory and tightened the grip around the sharpie in her hand. But now that this tiny angry voice in her head was there, telling her that Ben wouldn’t want anything to do with her, she couldn’t completely ignore it. In the end, she scribbled down her phone number in small digits at the bottom of the cup, where he maybe wouldn’t notice it directly. Not whilst he was still in the shop, at least.

Rejection had always been better to face when she didn’t have to witness it first hand, it wouldn’t hurt as much if she didn’t see the disgust in his eyes.

Like all good things that were taken away from her, he was just too good to be true, right?

Still, Rey hoped he would text her.

She finished quickly and laid the pencil away again before he laid the money on the counter.

"And I don't know"

Their hands touched for a moment when he reached to grab the coffee from her again, and just like the last time this afternoon, she felt a shiver running down her spine, and they locked eyes again for a second before smiling.

"If I still can feel"

“I guess this is it, then”, she said, feeling more vulnerable now than she wanted to.

Ben’s eyes widened as he took a look at the clock and he drew further away from the counter, Rey’s stomach plummeting immediately. “Oh God, I’m so sorry, it’s nearly midnight already. I should let you lock up.”

“It’s fine”, she chuckled, hoping he wouldn’t notice her disappointment. “It’s not much to do anymore anyway. In contrast to your philosophy paper, I can imagine.”

“Yeah, probably.” His eyes didn’t leave her as he answered and his mouth stayed open as if he was still not completely done.

“Is everything alright?”, she asked, not meaning to sound as breathless as she did.

The things this man’s eyes were doing to her were indescribable.

"For though I can't forget your autumn eyes they still don't seem too real."

“I…I…um”, whatever it was, it was hard for Ben to get out. He ruffled through his hair again and laughed to himself a bit as if to make fun of his stutter. Rey didn’t dare so much as to hope.

“I was asking myself”, he started again, taking a full breath, “I mean, just if you want to, of course, but I was asking myself, if you would like to get a coffee with me sometimes?”

Rey’s eyes widened, Ben’s words colouring her absolutely speechless, which seemed to make him more insecure for all the wrong reasons.

“No pressure though. If you don’t want to, I totally get it, you’re probably really tired of people asking you out and…”

“Ben”, she said softly, a small smile tugging at her lips, but he didn’t notice.

“I am realising now how creepy that must come across to ask someone out at midnight alone in a coffee shop and I am so sorry for putting you in that position…”

“Ben”, she said, a bit louder now, smiling her broadest smile, nearly laughing.

“Yes?”

“Look at your cup.”

It took him a few awfully long moments to spot her writing at the bottom during which Rey’s eyes couldn’t help but wander to his lips, but when he did, he mirrored her smile.

It was still the most beautiful thing Rey had ever seen.

“Is… is that a yes?” he said, almost unbelievingly.

“Yes!”, Rey exclaimed giggling, unable to contain herself for much longer. “Of course it’s a yes.”

This moment could capture all of eternity in its grace.

That is until a booming voice shouted: “You got her, son!” across the café.

The voice made both of them jump and it took Rey in her shock a moment to locate the voice to the old man who had been asleep at that table the whole time, now wide awake, clapping and laughing as he stood up.

Neither Ben nor Rey knew what to say when he came up to them and patted Ben on the back. “Good on you, son. Mastered that one like a champion.” He threw a wink in Rey’s direction. “And what a pretty one she is. Alright, I’ll be off, good night to you all!”

And with that, he left.

“I did not see him there at all”, Ben said blushing, shuffling his hair again.

Rey nodded her head in agreement. “I would have probably locked him in here if he didn’t wake up right now.”

“Did he pay for his coffee?”

Rey sighed and closed her eyelids for a moment, the exhaustion of the day suddenly apparent in her bones. “He did not do that.”

Ben and Rey looked at each other for a few seconds, resignation slowly turning into smiles, smiles slowly turning into grins, before they both ran off into the night after the old man, who had broken out into a sprint at the sound of their footsteps.

“Sir, I’m sorry, but you have to pay!”, Rey shouted, Ben laughing beside her as the cold night air engulfed them.

They stopped after a few dozen metres, figuring this guy was probably just some poor old guy who had wanted a warm drink before a cold night out, and Rey settled with being able to tell management that she at least tried to pursue him, should the question be brought up.

However, on their way back to the shop, Ben held her hand and she leaned against his shoulder a bit, trying to get warmer, whilst they chatted about everything, their words interrupted by laughter here and there.

Her heart had never beat faster.

Rey still didn’t know much. She didn’t know why she felt so drawn to this man beside her, hell, she didn’t even know much about him. She didn’t know whether she really was falling in love.

One thing she did know, however, was, that it had felt _good_ rushing along the streets with Ben beside her, who made her laugh even as they were chasing someone pulling a stunt, and it felt good being close to him now, their warmth against the cold autumn night. She felt his thumb smoothing over her hand, god, she thought she felt everything of him – and maybe, that was already more than enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, those were maybe a few more words than I planned on writing and now those chapters are completely out of balance, but I somehow don't regret it. The next chapter will probably be a bit shorter again though, but since I have most of it already written, it'll be out in 2 -3 days time.
> 
> Also, leave comments and kudos below if you liked this, I'm happy for every chance of interaction I get! :)


	3. Time may tear my doubts apart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!  
> I'm so sorry this took so long, but now it's finally finished and oh god - this turned out much longer than I ever anticipated. I wish I could tell you, but I too have no clue why each chapter just gets longer and longer - I'm sorry if you expected something a little shorter xD  
> Anyways, enjoy this chapter, during which the story comes to a close and the tag "song fic" is treated ever so loosely.
> 
> Also, my understanding of art is literally non-existent, so I apologize if I made any mistakes!
> 
> You probably know it by now, but if you want to listen to the song this story is based on, you can find it here:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bE3ZwbRHk_k  
> (sorry, I still don't know how to do links the fancy way)

When Rey had written him her number on his cup, Ben’s heart had leapt. But when she agreed to him asking her on a date, she had shifted his whole world into something much brighter within mere seconds.

Now that he looked back on it, Ben still couldn't quite believe it. That it actually happened. That he was really about to go on a date with Rey this afternoon. All the phone conversations and text messages they exchanged over the last week - it still seemed like a fever dream to him. The best kind of fever dream, of course, one he would never want to wake up from again, but still surreal.

Something as good as this never happened to him.

And now that the day of their date finally came, he was so damn scared to destroy everything before it even began. After all, this seemed to be his speciality.

He sighed as he leaned back against the entrance of the art museum - after some consideration, he had decided to take Rey here for their date. She had mentioned that she really liked art, but that she never could find anyone to go see it with her. Ben had volunteered almost immediately.

"Hey, Ben!", her voice sounded from a few metres away and ripped him out of his thoughts.

When he saw her, it felt like time stood still all over again.

She was wearing a short, yellow summer dress, which made sense given the unusual warmth the day, and she had only pulled half of her hair up this time, allowing the other half to grace the top of her shoulders. But the smile that she gave him was probably the most mesmerizing to him.

Her smile - it was almost like the sun, Ben had already noticed this when he first saw her - she lit it the whole room with it wherever she went. Fuck this, it lit up his whole damn world.

And even though he really didn't know how he deserved this, he had no other choice than to smile back. He couldn't remember ever smiling so much before he met her.

"Good morning", he managed to get out a bit more breathless than he meant to as she came to a stop in front of him.

There was a short, really awkward moment during which he didn't know how he should greet her - would a hug be too inappropriate? A handshake too cold? Should he kiss her hand? - but lucky for him, she simply crossed the distance between them and hugged him.

For a few seconds, he could only take in her smell of vanilla and strawberry before he orientated himself again and slowly brought his own arms around her.

Somehow, he could already tell that she felt like home.

"Good morning to you, too."

If the hug lasted a bit longer than social requirements deemed it necessary, Ben wasn't one to complain.

"Are you excited about the exhibition already? I don't know the first thing about art, but the pictures on the internet looked nice."

She nodded with a smile. "Definitely. I've always wanted to go here, so it's really nice doing this right now." She took a deep breath before she continued to say the next words and Ben looked at her as she stared on straight ahead. "And to do it with you. It's also really nice that you're here."

The smile she gave him was reflected on his own face as they came to a halt in front of the big front doors of the museum and he took the liberty to wonder at her for a few more moments.

What he felt for Rey, it felt like a mixture of warm summer evenings, hot lemon tea and the cool breeze of an ocean hitting his face. It was ever good thing in the world combined, all those things that made his world shine brighter, pure light with the promise of warmth.

"I'm also really glad to do this with you."

Both stood still for a few seconds as they shared a grin and Ben wondered if this was the moment he was supposed to kiss her, take her into his arms and never let go. But just as he nearly had gathered the courage to lean forward a bit, the glass doors beside them were ripped open and they had to step back as people walked in between them, eager to get out of the museum.

"Should we go in?", Rey asked awkwardly and Ben ruffled a hand through his hair, as he tended to do when he was nervous.

"Sure."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Even if Ben had never put much thought into art, Ben had to agree that the work on display was rather nice. The museum put up a sort of "all-in-one-show" as far as he could tell, meaning that there were different sections for different centuries, guiding visitors through all of the important styles and periods of the art world in this way.

And really, it was pretty. Ben liked most paintings. He could appreciate the immaculate technique most of the painters must have used and how they managed to capture a mood or a landscape so perfectly. For some of the paintings, he could even say that they were downright beautiful.

Still, the most beautiful thing that captured his attention far more than all of the paintings combined, were Rey's excited gasps whenever she spotted a painting she recognized and her dreamy sighs whenever one spoke to her.

It was an otherworldly experience, walking next to Rey through the museum like that, one that Ben knew he would treasure for many days to come. She was easy to fascinate, captured by so many paintings on their way, but it was exactly that what gripped his heart so effortlessly in the end - the way she talked him through the meanings and histories of paintings he had never heard of, how they came alive for him just because of her words.

They were surrounded by so many beautiful things, even by some of mankind's greatest wonders, if he were to believe Rey's words, and she still had no idea that she outshone every one of them. Ben couldn't measure how badly he wanted to tell her. How badly he wanted to be the one to always tell her.

"Oh", she exclaimed as they stopped in front of a painting from the romantic period and he stilled his thoughts.

"Oh?", he asked instead, softly, and watched her face.

A small smile spread on it, more one of awe than one that would sweep into laughter.

"This is one of my absolute favourites. I didn't know they had it on display here."

"It is?"

Ben turned himself towards the painting now and observed it fully for the first time. Without a doubt, it was breathtaking. The colours on the canvas portrayed a small garden landscape and a family of four that was playing inside of it, two parents swirling their kids around, laughter clear on their faces. And even though they made for a really nice motive, the most captivating thing about it were probably the colours themselves - every known shade of blue, yellow and green, sometimes red and purple for fruits in the bushes, seemed to run together in front of them. 

Ben believed that he could make out more colours than he had ever seen in his life, and for the first time, he seemed to understand how something as simple as mixed colours could fill Rey's heart to the brim.

"Yeah", she whispered next to him, almost as if she was afraid to scare the painting away. "Can you see how the painter worked his way inwards with the colours? On the outside, he used explicitly darker shades, but the further your eyes move to the centre, the lighter and livelier it gets, until you reach the family."

She pointed her finger towards them, and Ben tried his best to follow.

"Compared to the garden, the painter uses so many more colours for them - white and four different shades of pink only for the little girl's dress, at least six different shades of black for the father's shoes, even though most of them are covered by grass anyway. They really are the centre of attention, the centre of light, as if everything only came to life because of them."

Ben stole a quick look at her before he turned back around. If only she knew...

Her smile grew wider when Rey pointed to something slightly beside the family and Ben sucked in his breath as he saw it.

"Except of course for..."

"The blue butterflies", Ben finished for her, his voice heavy with emotion.

The blue butterflies the little boy was chasing, desperate to escape the grip of his father. Rey couldn't know about this, could she?  
He shook his head only a second later at his nonsensical thought. Of course, she couldn't.

Those tiny little insects, those blue butterflies from the painting - she couldn't have known how much they meant to Ben. And for a moment, his thoughts took him back there. Back to his parents, back to the little lake house they would go to during the summer holidays. Back to the many nights Ben ran away from his room to catch fireflies and ended up finding these blue creatures, bringing so much beauty. Back to those early summers.

But then, without any warning, his thoughts also brought him back to the late summers. Those summers during which his parents were only screaming, at each other, at him, at the whole world around them. Those nights during which Ben would sneak out not to hunt fireflies with wide eyes anymore, but to run away. Those nights where he would punch the grass and trees, scream at the moon if he had gone far enough and finally slept underneath the stars, tears clouding his vision, butterflies flying around him. Those nights during which his parents never cared enough to even notice that he was gone, his dirty shirts in the morning or the bed he never slept in.

And finally, the night where he was too angry with everyone, even with the butterflies.

"Ben... Are you okay?" Rey must have noticed his muscles stiffen, his hands clenching to fists, but she didn't move away as he thought she might. As she should. For he was darkness, and she was light. And one of those times, he was bound to destroy her.

Like he always did with good things.

"Rey, why are we doing this?", he finally asked, but it sounded more like the whine a wounded animal would have made.

Rey looked at him, earnest and attentive, confusion clear in her eyes. "What do you mean?"

"Why did you agree to come here with me today?" It was hard for him to find the words he wanted to say. "I mean, surely, there must be other guys who would love to do this with you, as they should, and it's just..."

He stops himself as he notices the hurt expression on her face and runs a hand through his hair again, exasperated. 

"No, don't get me wrong, I'm so happy to be here with you today, I love that I'm here with you today, it's just that... I'm not a good person, Rey. Not always. And you are so good and so kind, and I've hurt so many people I didn't want to hurt just because I get too much in my head sometimes and I can get so _angry_ -"

Rey stopped his rambling effectively when she took a step forward and touched his arm, brought it down from his face to the space in-between them.

"Ben", she whispered, softer than he would ever have expected her to, and he focused his eyes on her again, trying to stabilise his breathing.

At the small smile she gave him, his heart died and came alive again.

"You just said it, Ben. You didn't want to hurt them. You're not a bad person now because of who you were. I wouldn't want to be here with anyone else. Your past doesn't scare me." Her expression changed as she laughed sadly, eyes that were so fixed on his own now diverted from his gaze. "In fact, we kind of match." She gulped as Ben noticed that her eyes flickered in a memory. "I'm... nothing. Nothing special, nothing extraordinary, just simply... nothing."

In this second, Ben's heart broke a little just watching her smile drop.

"Not to me", he said, because it had been burning on his tongue since the moment he had first seen her. "You shouldn't be nothing to anybody. God, Rey, whoever made you believe this deserves to be punched because you're not nothing, you could never be nothing when you should be everything instead-"

He didn't get any further, because at this moment, she pressed her lips firmly against his own, and nothing else mattered anymore.

Like two magnets finally joining together, Ben couldn't have said where he ended and Rey began.

The kiss was a soft one, both of them just exploring each other's lips, and Ben couldn't help but grin widely against her mouth as he brought his arms around her back to press her closer to him. She sighed at the motion and clutched her hands around his neck, her thumb smoothing in circles on his skin.

Ben let his forehead rest against hers as they finally broke apart for air and a smile formed on both of their faces.

"Would you like to get a coffee? I heard they have a wonderful café in this place."

Rey laughed a bit and let her fingers run over his nape. "Yeah, I think I would like that."

Without further ado, Ben took Rey's hand in his and guided her down the aisles, all whilst feeling his heart nearly bursting of happiness. But surely, how could he even start to hide the grin on his face when her hand felt so warm in his?

He wasn't sure he ever wanted to let go again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the end, it proofed to be a good thing the two of them had decided to sit down for a while because Ben really didn't know how much longer his legs would have been able to carry him. Filled with adrenaline, the memory of bad times and the relief of their kiss, they felt like pudding at the moment.

Additionally to that, he had to admit that the café embedded in the museum was rather enjoyable - a light atmosphere, much space between the tables, the smell of coffee in the air and the large window next to them made sure of that.

Their talk was light with the heaviness gone from Ben's mind for now. Still, he could tell that something still seems to sit on Rey's tongue. He can see it in the way her eyes and smile sometimes need a second to synchronise and how her jokes always seem to leave her mouth a second too late.

An impatient side of him, the side that still feared it was him that had this effect on her, wanted to tell her to just get it out of her, but Ben knew better.

He wouldn't push Rey, just as she hadn't pushed him to tell her anything. If she wanted to tell him something, she would do so.

However, as the waiter finally came to take their order, Ben knew that he had a whole different problem at hand.

"I'll just have a hot chocolate, please", Rey already told him in a cheerful voice, then took a look at Ben. "And you would probably like a Cappuccino, right?"

Ben just looked at her for a second with a pained expression in his eyes before he shifted his attention to the waiter again. "I'll actually take a black one, thank you."

Rey still stared at him with her mouth open in exaggerated shock after the waiter had already left.

"You don't want a Cappuccino?"

Ben sighed in defeat. "I don't even like Cappuccinos."

"But why did you order it then the first time we met? Oh God, I totally messed it up the second time then..."

"No, really, it's fine and well, I was in shock," he stumbled quickly.

"In shock?"

"At seeing you, I mean." Ben could feel how his ears were already turning red and he averted his gaze to the people on the street below them.

"At seeing me?" The mocking tone in Rey's voice was clear as daylight, and it definitely didn't help Ben's embarrassment. 

"Yes, at seeing you."

"Why?"

He sighed, again, and focused his eyes back on her face. "Because you are the single most beautiful thing I have ever seen, and I could barely even get words out to talk to you, nevermind remembering what type of coffee I actually like."

At this, he could see the tables turn as Rey's cheeks suddenly turned pink and the smile died on her face.

"Umm... that is really nice of you to say..."

Ben just shook his head, not reading the signs quite as she intended him to. "No, it's fine. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable."

"No, Ben..." She took a deep breath, but he thought she might take his heart with it. "I felt it too. I felt the same way." Her face lightened up a bit again as she spoke, as if she could only fully believe it after she said it. "This... pull towards you. And what you said _was_ very nice, especially since..."

While Rey struggled with her words, Ben moved his hand slowly over to hold hers, slow enough that she could move away. But she didn't. She squeezed his hand instead, seemingly thankful for the comfort.

"Especially since no one has ever told me something like this before", she finished quickly, almost too quickly for him to hear it. Almost.

"No one has ever said something like that to you?", Ben asked, more than incredulous.

She threw him a shy look before she concentrated on rubbing circles against the back of his hand. "You see, there's a reason the painting we looked at just now is my favourite. It depicts something, some kind of happiness I always wished I could have experienced because I never had... I never had a real family."

The words hung heavy between them, creating a thick atmosphere Ben didn't dare to speak in. He knew the look in her eyes, knew that she needed time to search for more words, so he only lifted his second hand to encase her single hand in it, almost protectively.

"I grew up in the system after my parents left me at a gas station when I was really young", Rey finally continued, unshed tears making her voice waver, and Ben hated every bit of it.

"I guess it's fine since I can't remember them clearly anymore, I was too young for that, and I did eventually find a good home, but the part in between..." She took a long breath, Ben's heart broke again for her. "It was hard. I was homeless for a while, actually, after I ran away from a... bad foster family one time."

He squeezed her hand subconsciously harder, but she didn't take offence.

"But I learned to get around on my own just fine, so it was alright, and then Maz found me..." She laughed a bit, but Ben could see the tears running down her cheeks now. A clear resolution formed in his mind: Whoever had made Rey feel like it was alright to be homeless at a young age, he would find them, and then kill them, slowly. 

"I don't know why I'm even telling you this, to be honest. I guess I just wanted to emphasise that I never really had time for things like... this", she said and pointed at their intertwined hands, cheeks gaining a bit of colour again whilst doing so.

Ben nodded, unsure at first of what to say. "Thank you for telling me." He fought with himself for a bit, not knowing whether or not this would be the right way to proceed, but he didn't want to make Rey uncomfortable by asking her more questions about her past, a topic she was clearly uncomfortable with. So, he did the only thing that felt right in this moment. 

She had put enough trust in him to tell him about her past, now it was time for Ben to do the same. Maybe she would be able to relate in that way

_"Time may tear my thoughts apart"_

He closed his eyes for a second before he began, letting in all the memories he had shut out so carefully for years now.

"When I was young, my parents would fight all the time." Rey leaned forward a bit, attentive to every word he said, and he knew then that it had been the right decision.

"It was never about one thing in particular, really... It was more about everything. I think it was about them, looking back. They loved each other, just sometimes, they couldn't stand each other. And sometimes, their fights seemed to be more important than I was to them."

Now it was Rey's turn to run her fingers over his palm, and he could feel his muscles relax instantly at her touch.

"They didn't pay as much attention to me as I needed, being a child with mental health problems." He laughed dryly, but it even sounded fake to Ben's own ears. "Mom often left for work trips, months at a time, and dad... he always seemed to find something better to do, even if mom wasn't there. When she was, however, it was almost like he didn't come home at all. And then, one night, I just couldn't take it anymore."

Ben winced at the memory. For one moment, he was back with the blue butterflies again, his fist bloody from punching trees, above him only the silent comfort of the stars.

_"Tell me how to fix a heart"_

"One night, I screamed back at them. I completely freaked out, punched my dad nearly senseless as he tried to calm me down."

Rey didn't back away as he thought she surely would, and his voice nearly broke at that.

"After that, they send me to live with my uncle Luke, for 'educational purposes', as they called it..." He scoffed again, this time it wasn't meant to be humorous. "I ran away two years later, as soon as I was old enough. I felt so alone. I haven't seen my parents since, only talked to them on the phone, and it gets better, but..."

"It's never fully okay", Rey ended for him, giving him a sympathetic smile.

"We really do match, don't we?", Ben finally asked with a small laugh, and Rey reciprocated it with a grin on her face and finally, a tiny spark inside her endless eyes again.

"I guess we do. But... You're not alone. Not anymore, Ben", she said, taking both of his hands into both of hers, and he could tell that she meant it.

_"Gently guide me back to where I started"_

He didn't think he had ever felt this much understood by anyone before, this much at home.

"Neither are you", he replied because of this earnestly, trying to pour every bit of admiration and... love he felt for her into his gaze.

For a second, he was tempted to kiss her again. It wouldn't be a long way for him, leaning over the table, considering how tall he was. But then, just as he thought he might do it, two cups were placed on the tablespace between them, and the two of them drifted apart.

"A hot chocolate and a black coffee for the two of you, sorry for the delay. Enjoy!" The waiter flashed them an apologizing smile before he hurried off, but Ben just smiled.

It was okay. They had time. All the time in the world, if he had a say in this.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They spent the rest of their time at the museum in much better spirits, now that both had shared what wanted to be shared. So after their stop at the café, they simply slandered through a few more corners and periods they hadn't explored yet, whilst Rey kept on explaining some of the paintings she knew to him and Ben kept making fun of any portrayal he found too strange, earning a laugh from Rey when he made fun of the cats during the renaissance period and a very offended stare when he laughed at the entire expressionistic period.

"It's still art, Ben, it doesn't make it any less meaningful just because it's a bit more abstract!", she somewhen called out exasperatedly, but her laugh betrayed her.

"Yes, I know, and I love 'Starry Night' as much as the next person, but", he pointed to a positively hideous painting of a woman, where every little proportion just looked wrong. "This looks actually as if it was drawn with crayons. In fact, I think I remember drawing something just like this when I was a kid."

"But this just adds to the meaning of overall hollowness and the rottenness of modern society that this painting is trying to get across..."

Ben shot her a pointed look, filled with contained laughter, and she finally gave in by just elbowing him. "Oh, shut up, you snob. You do Philosophy, you should be on my side here."

He stepped closer to her, and he didn't think he would ever get tired of seeing her eyes grow wide with anticipation. "Oh, should I now?"

She placed a hand tentatively on his chest, and Ben could feel himself shiver under her touch, his smile spreading wider as he cupped her cheek with his hand.

"I guess we'll just have to come to an agreement then."

This time, it was Ben who captured her lips in a kiss, and as she slightly sighed and opened her mouth to grant his tongue entrance, he knew that this was what he wanted to do for the rest of his life.

She pulled him endlessly closer and both melted into their kiss. He could feel her bite his lip, explore every last corner of his mouth, and it nearly drove him mad as he slowly lowered his hands on her back-

"Jesus, get a room, the two of you!" An exasperated voice scolded them loudly and they both pulled back, their faces turning red.

"Just don't do this in front of Van Gogh! Have some shame!", the older lady further reprimanded them, and Ben looked at Rey, who already had an undeniable grin plastered across her face.

"Come on!", he finally laughed, interrupting the lady quite rudely (not that he cared especially at this moment), and tugged Rey along by her hand out of the room fast, who could barely walk from laughing too hard.

"Sorry", she shouted back at the woman, now clearly offended by their course of actions, before she caught up to Ben.

A quiet: "Today's youth...", followed them, then they were mostly alone again.

"Wanna get out of here?", Ben asked her and slowed down a bit as he noticed that his steps were clearly too large for Rey to keep up with.

"There's nothing I would love to do more", she agreed and squeezed his hand again, and Ben felt like every little thing that had gone wrong since his childhood, everything he had to go through, every lonely night he had had... it had all built up to this, and he couldn't be happier.

With Rey by his side, his world truly felt complete.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Damn it, all the weather forecasts said that it would stay sunny today", Ben murmured as they stood in the front lobby, watching the rain fall down heavily beyond the glass doors.

Rey shivered into him, but Ben didn't think much of it as he shrugged his shoulders. 

Today had brought him Rey. And now that he had her, he would stay by her side as long as she let him. A little bit of falling rain couldn't possibly ever ruin that for him.

"It's autumn, I guess", Rey finally answered. "It's always a surprise when rain falls at this time."

"Well, I could have probably saved up on my shower this morning..."

"I'm not sure this is how it works, Ben", Rey scoffed, a confused look on her face as he started to take off his jacket right afterwards.

"What are you doing?"

Ben just gave her a smile and laid his jacket carefully over her naked shoulders. "You're only wearing a dress, and I really don't want you to get sick."

As Rey's cheeks turned red and she couldn't hold his gaze anymore, Ben doubted that maybe giving her his jacket had been a bit too much, a bit too eager, and he almost felt complied to take it back, until...

"Thank you, Ben", Rey finally answered with a smile. "But really, I'll be fine, you don't have to..."

"I know", he laughed and rejected Rey's attempt in giving him her jacket back. "But I want to."

This seemed to still her resistance and made her look up at him with wide eyes.

"Thank you", she whispered in such a way that he almost thought he must have given her a whole universe instead of just his jacket to earn such a look.

And even though he hadn't given her the universe yet, he certainly planned to.

"Always", he said instead, for now, trying to lay all of his emotions into it, before he held his hand out to her. "Do you want to go?"

However, she hesitated in grabbing his hand, and he could see her biting her lip and looking over his shoulder at the rain, again and again, a nervous twinkle in her eyes.

"Could we... Could we actually just stay inside for now?", Rey finally asked him with a nervous edge, almost as if she was embarrassed to ask this, and Ben's brow furrowed.

"Of course, but why?"

Rey simply shrugged, eyes still not meeting his. "Oh, I just don't really like rain."

Maybe it was the flower shop across the street that Ben spotted at this moment, maybe it was his still lingering fear of Rey slipping away, but a plan formed itself in his mind; a plan that allowed him to miss the fleeting expression of crystal clear fear on Rey's face.

However, Ben's frown slowly formed itself into a grin.

"I've got an idea", he said and turned excitedly to Rey. "Can you wait here for a few seconds? I'll be right back."

"Wait, Ben, no-"

"I'll be back in just a minute", Ben laughed and yet again missed the fear in her eyes as he went up to the door and opened the door before Rey could say anything else.

Outside, the air was clean, the smell of rain filled his lungs, and for just a second, he enjoyed the feeling of rain hitting the top of his head, cooling his cheeks.

It was a warmer kind of rain than what he was used to so late into the season, but he took it gratefully. For a moment, he wondered if the rain would soon be joined by thunder and lightning, and the ever so dark clouds above him left him in suspense.

The flower shop was just across the street, and Ben was already considering in his mind which kind of flowers Rey would probably like the best, as suddenly, something very warm and heavy crashed into his backside and nearly brought him down.

"Rey?", he asked incredulously after he identified the person hugging him tightly from behind, just barely letting him even breathe anymore. "What are you doing out here? Go back inside, you shouldn't get all wet."

_"Oh I don't know"_

However, she didn't respond to him, just pressed him even closer to her chest, so close that he couldn't turn around to really look at her.

"Rey, are you okay?"

As the rain exploded over them, Ben could her sob for the first time, could feel his back shaking as she cried against it. And then he turned around, a bit more forcefully this time, just to hug Rey tightly again.

_"If I still can love"_

"Please don't go", she finally brought out, her voice fighting against tears and wind, but Ben heard it nonetheless. "Please don't leave me."

Ben pressed a kiss to her forehead, desperate for her to understand. "I'm not leaving you, Rey. I never will."

Her sobs intensified, and Ben felt more helpless than he ever had in his life before. It nearly broke him, seeing her like this. Entirely drenched in rain, sobbing like someone who had just left everything.

_"I'm just trying my best to hold back all the thunder from above"_

It took her a few more seconds to find her voice again. "My parents... They left me during the autumn. When it was raining. They said that they would be right back, that they just needed to visit a friend and that I should wait at the gas station."

Ben's heart stopped at her words and he scolded himself internally.

"They never came back", Rey finished heavily and Ben held her even tighter in the need to shield her from everything. The rain, her thoughts, her past.

_"I don't know"_

"So when I said that I would be right back..." He let out a breath in realisation. "God, Rey, I'm such an idiot, I am so sorry."

"It's fine", she said again, repressing another sob. "You couldn't know. It's just my stupid mind, telling me that everyone will leave me as soon as the rain falls."

Ben let go of her a little bit then and he could feel Rey wince at the loss of contact, but he only did it so that he could lift her chin a bit and look her at her directly.

Even now, skin overrun with raindrops, tears glistening in her eyes and her hair completely wet, she was absolutely beautiful.

_"If I still can feel"_

"Rey, I won't leave you. Not today, not ever. I won't leave you until you want me to."

Her eyes were filled with a different feeling now, with love, and Ben thought he could drown in it over and over again.

"I will never want you to."

A grin spread across Ben's face then, one that was slowly returned by the girl standing in front of him. The girl he had fallen in love with over the past few days, the girl that had changed his whole world in less than a second. At this moment he knew that he truly loved her. He didn't know how or why, he just knew that he did, it was as clear to him as anything, a universal truth that had always been there, just waiting for him to accept it.

But he had time, so much time to tell her that. And he would do it over and over again until she believed him, until she believed in herself.

For now, it was enough for both of them to just hold each other as the rest of the world fell away. Everything they needed, they found it in their eyes and in the feeling of warm skin pressing against each other.

_"For though I can't forget your autumn eyes they still don't seem too real"_

Ben lifted his hand to stroke his thumb along her cheek, and he knew: Someday, she would be happy in the rain again. And he would be there with her every step of the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, that's it for this story, I hope you enjoyed it and it could make you smile! :)
> 
> Don't be shy to leave comments, I love talking to you, and please consider leaving Kudos if you liked it!  
> Also, if you want to, you can say hi to me on Twitter (@moon2pluto), otherwise I hope to see you guys around!

**Author's Note:**

> Alright so... it was honestly meant to be a one-shot, but I guess it just turned out to be a three-shot. Oh well.
> 
> Stay tuned though, because in the next chapter we will experience Rey's POV as the next verse comes into play, and I'm already excited :D
> 
> Please talk to me in the comments if you want to, I am so bored in quarantine right now and literally so grateful for any message that I get. Or come and shout at me on Instagram @lucieisprobablyprocrastinating :)


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